


Touchy-feely

by sihaiya



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: (sort of), Character Study, Developing Relationship, M/M, Pre-Canon, acwnr slight spoilers, touch starvation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 19:28:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2037141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sihaiya/pseuds/sihaiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some months have gone since Levi begins to notice it and what he’s missing bewilders him, leaving him in an awkward state of yearning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Touchy-feely

**Author's Note:**

> I got this in my folders for quite a long time by now, so in the end I decided to dust it off and share it. Btw this is the first time I'm venturing into the eruri territory, have mercy XD
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own SnK, all characters and references are property of Hajime Isayama.

Some months have gone since the death of Isabel and Farlan when Levi begins to notice it.

He's never been a touchy-feely person nor a clingy one, but after months of literal solitude it became obvious: with the rest of the Scouting Legion members still untrusting him and keeping their distance - something that surely haven't nothing to do with his harsh and straightforward attitude - what he's missing bewilders him, leaving him in an awkward state of yearning.

He can still remember himself ruffling Isabel's hair with affection, he can still feel on him the slight acts of companionship that Farlan pulled on him, a slap on the back, a shoulder on which rest his head when he needed some quiet peace, if he makes an effort he can even still sense the heat of winter's nights, the three of them cuddling to make sleep easier and more comfortable. No, he's never been a touchy-feely person, he's made of iron, hardened from the worst the world has to offer in this life, but after all he is human too, he sometimes needs a place to let it go, even if only for few moments, and this is what he's missing now.

So far he can count the number of who have tried to build some kind of relationship with him on the fingers of one hand. First and foremost that crazy four-eyed woman, even if he's not entirely sure she considers herself one of them, not that he'll ever need to talk about this shit, for what he cares she could be and act whatever the fuck pleases her. She's lunatic, she's obnoxious, she's noisy, but nothing he has done served to get rid of her: right from the start she seemed fascinated by him and truth to be told he somehow reciprocates this feeling, 'cause deep in the middle of her foolishness there's a fine working brain and he's never been someone who lies to himself. Her company is not exactly the type he most appreciates, but neither is entirely unwelcome and he's fairly sure he can state that slowly they're building a sort of friendship based on the mutual respect for their skills, well, when they're not too busy bickering.

On the other hand there's the blondie, often if not always followed by his too tall hound. The latter clearly doesn't fully trust him yet, he can tell it by his posture when they are together, even if the giant almost never speaks, not that he could blame him for his attitude. The other instead remains a mystery for him: still now, as ever, he doesn't act towards him with superiority, he praises freely and without embarrassment his skills and he keeps scheming and manipulating the way toward his goals yet always remaining bluntly honest with him. By now he trusts him at least about this, he trusts him to always tell him the truth, at least when he feels he can share it, and this is a bit unnerving, 'cause he's never been one to place trust carelessly in someone. He doesn't know what kind of relationship is forming between them, but for once he doesn't really care: again, he's never been someone who lies to himself and so he can easily admit to be fascinated by him and by the way this is the main reason he followed him that day under the rain instead of crawling back again in that shithole he once called home.

He's mulling over all this load of crap while going for a short walk before retiring for the night when he sees him: today is the day he officially became the second in command after Shardis, so he doesn't understand why he's not somewhere celebrating, sitting instead alone in a remote corner of the courtyard with the face of one who has just seen his favorite pet being brutally tortured and killed.

Levi knows what drives him to approach the other, what prompts him to sit at his side, he still can't tell if he trust in all respects this new companion of him, but he made the choice to remain with the Legion, so he feels this is the least he can do right now. They don't talk for a long time, simply staring in front of them in a quiet and comfortable silence until Erwin lets a brief whisper break their apparent stalemate.

"I'm sorry for your friends."

He never apologized about it before and Levi is not sure he can understand why he's doing it now. "We've already agreed on how it was my fault." He replies in the end, bitterly cold, without turning to face him, unwanted memories reoccurring in his mind.

The other smiles without joy, a barely visible ripple of his lips. "I'm the one who dragged them into the Legion." He states as a matter of fact, remaining silent for a while before speaking again with a softer tone. "If I'm going to become the next Commander this will be somehow true for them all, they'll sacrifice their lives for my goals without even knowing them and I'll not be able to keep them alive."

Levi shakes a bit his head, still not completely understanding but vaguely feeling of being included in that 'them'. "Aren't you doing this for a greater good?" He asks, halfway between seriousness and mockery, not really needing an explanation, but at the same time not so used to deal with relationships to really know what to say.

"I'm doing it for knowledge and to atone for my sins. I can only hope for this to also lead to a greater good, but I cannot guarantee it."

Again his blunt honesty. It's something that makes Erwin more similar to him than Levi thought at the beginning and he wonders why he's this way almost only with him, 'cause he knows for sure he's not usual in fully disclosing his intentions to anyone.

"Whatever the reason you should avoid to make this sorry face of yours much longer. Other soldiers could see it and moreover it tends to make me be absorbed into melodramatic thoughts." He grumps, clicking his tongue before hinting to get up and leave.

"Aren't you going to ask me what my sins are?" Erwin replies, cautious, the shade of a grin growing on his face.

Levi clicks his tongue again, apparently annoyed, but in the end he doesn't leave the place he occupied at his side. "One way or another we're all at fault, should it matter?"

"In this case it could matter more than you think. Would you like to know what I actually need you to be my weapon for?"

He doesn't really need to know, that day under the pouring rain he offered himself to him with no ifs, ands, or buts and so he doesn't reply right away, eyes still fixed in front of him, but he lets his body lean towards Erwin's one until his head is resting on his broad shoulder. Levi's never been someone who lies to himself, now he knows what he's missing and life is really too short and shitty not to bluntly act according to his own needs as long as they don't harm anyone, except perhaps himself.

"Make it a nice bedtime story." He finally sighs, basking in Erwin's heat and in the sense of safety it's providing him and wanting to make it last as long as possible. He's lulled by Erwin's amused chuckle and all in all, when he starts to talk again, he thinks he could get used to this, 'cause it's not bad at all.


End file.
